I’ve been trying to write a blog post for about a week now, only logging in to work on a couple paragraphs before giving up and saving the draft and logging out again. I have three drafts saying different things and I think that’s a sign I need to retire this blog and get some distance from this Internet thing.
Normally I just unpublish my blog and walk away, but I also think the past three blog posts are my best work to date. You could ignore everything else I’ve written and use those three posts as a shortcut to non-reformist feminism. On the other hand, I also think those posts are messy and distract from some of the points I’ve made – as is also the case with the rest of my blog posts. So I present to you a final talking points memo detailing the conclusions I have made after almost two and a half years of non-reformist feminist blogging.
All people are conditioned to be misogynists from the womb. There is no exception to this: every person’s first experience with the female body is 100% parasitic beginning in the womb where our most primitive understanding of “woman” is a resource of nourishment and warmth. This experience of taking from our mother’s bodies for our own benefit is our most basic interaction with women as a class. This continues immediately after birth into early infancy, where our mothers are subject to waiting on us hand and foot well into early childhood. Human’s slow rate of development and extended childhood compared to other animals prolongs the time we “feed” off of our mothers, and over time reinforces our most basic assumption that women exist solely for our own comfort and meeting our personal needs.
Neither men nor women believe in the existence of women as significant beings. It is impossible to remember as real the suffering of someone who by definition has no legitimate claim to dignity or freedom, someone who is in fact viewed as some thing, an object or an absence. And if a woman, an individual woman multiplied by billions, does not believe in her own discrete existence and therefore cannot credit the authenticity of her own suffering, she is erased, canceled out, and the meaning of her life, whatever it is, whatever it might have been, is lost. This loss cannot be calculated or comprehended. It is vast and awful, and nothing will ever make up for it.
— Andrea Dworkin, Right Wing Women, pg 21
Misogyny is like a drug, and most people are addicted for life. There are very few people who get to adulthood that are capable of rejecting misogyny, and most people are misogynists who get off on treating women like shit. Since most people do not question their misogynist beliefs (and respond violently when confronted about those beliefs) it is only logical to assume that at least 95% of the human species are hopelessly addicted to misogyny and are incapable of seeing women as human beings.
I think trashing women is an addiction, in ever sense of the word, very likely including chemical. Every time we succumb to the need for that fix that talking against or attacking another woman gives us, we replicate and reinforce patriarchy’s sadomasochistic pattern in our personal lives and in our movement. Sadomasochism, the very essence of patriarchy, is a habit, a deep habit – an addiction. […]
There is no way to have a genuine or productive communication once we have slipped into the craving stage of the sadomasochistic addiction cycle amongst ourselves. […]
One sure way to at least disrupt this pattern is to refuse to give our co-addicts the fix. If we haven’t been able to disrupt the cycle before the battering begins, when we feel ourselves begin to weaken under the assault, we can say, looking at our watches, “I have to leave now.” […]
The continuation of life on earth depends on women’s refusal of the sadomasochistic model, our refusal to act out the sadist role with women and the masochist role with men or women, and both with ourselves.
— Sonia Johnson, Going Out of Our Minds: The Metaphysics of Liberation, pgs 56,59, 60
Humanity had it’s chance to co-exist with Nature, and we blew it. There was once a long period of time when civilization didn’t exist, and there were no social controls to stop men from living up to their worst potential, i.e. going around setting up rape camps, kidnapping and raping women and girls, creating hierarchical caste systems, killing and torturing, ect. Civilization didn’t happen by chance or in a vacuum – it happened because men’s violence ran rampant unhindered and unchecked.
A species that fights one-half of itself with the most vicious spiritual, physical, and emotional cruelty, mains and wounds, humiliates and murders women’s hearts and souls and bodies, is a species that is on its way to extinction, that deserves extinction. Species survive and evolve because they learn to unite against a common danger. We are in unutterable danger, and patriarchy as divided us to our great peril. We will die unless the world listens to women, and takes us very, very seriously.
— Sonia Johnson, Going out of our Minds: the Metaphysics of Liberation, pg 244
Rejecting misogyny means rejecting what is considered normal and desirable in self-destructive Patriarchal society. You know when you reject misogyny because your body rejects it. You literally cannot stomach any more of it and will take steps to avoid it at all costs. You refuse to tolerate it no matter where it comes from, and you won’t make excuses for people anymore. You even stop watching television or listening to the radio when you realize there’s nothing on it but men celebrating all the ways they fuck women over. The thought of anyone else consuming it and enjoying it will make you feel like you’re going to puke.
You will reject certain things, on principle, because they only exist because misogyny exists. The institution of marriage? Nope. Heterosexism and homophobia? Nope. White imperialism? Nope. Activism? Nope. Prostitution? Nope. Pornography? Nope. Religion? Nope. Narcissism? Nope. Gender? Nope. Anti-abortion and anti-birth control? Nope. Humanism? Nope. Corporate career climbing? Nope. Male identified political narratives? Nope. Men’s revolutions? Nope. Having kids? Nope. Hating “privileged” women? Nope.
Rejecting misogyny is not simple. It’s not pleasant. You will reject things most people consider normal and desirable. Your heart will hurt and your stomach will be queasy. Your ability to trust people will be compromised, especially if you have a history of being used and abused. The fact that most people are not physically repulsed by misogyny and do not have a visceral aversion to misogyny supports the conclusion that most people are misogynists.
All problems related to human suffering can be traced to artificial selection favoring male biological imperative. As long as women do not have a right to say “no,” the evolutionary trajectory of the human species will be artificially selected by men. Natural selection implies that women have a choice, and women do not a choice when we are expected to choose our partners according to men’s opinion, submit to men’s sexual demands, accept marriages arranged without our consent, or otherwise are at constant risk of rape. There is no reason to believe that women consented to Patriarchy since men instituted cultural practices like marriage, prostitution, wife beating, and marital rape to ensure women’s complete sexual submission to men. For a long time, laws against rape only existed because women were considered men’s property, and rape was viewed as a crime like trespassing or theft as opposed to a serious human rights violation.
Human rights emergencies such as white imperialism and the Holocaust did not happen without violent misogyny, and both required extreme social controls placed on women and girls by men in power to selectively outbreed other men. One of the goals of the witch hunts was to end abortion, resulting in a population boom in the Middle Ages preceding the colonial period. In other words, all those white people didn’t come from nowhere. They were born from the bodies of white women who were stripped of their basic human rights at the hands of white men. Misogyny creates racism, and racism creates misogyny. It is a two way street and you cannot end one without ending the other.
Male dominated civilizations do not last very long, and there is no “do over” this time. The median age of male dominated civilizations is only about 300 years, compared with female dominated civilizations like Minoan Crete that lasted a whopping 1,500 years before being wiped out by a natural disaster.
Unfortunately, due to human overpopulation, global climate change, and the construction of over four hundred nuclear power plants worldwide; there is no way to “reset” civilization when it all starts to fall a part. As time goes on, the risk of war, extreme weather patterns, or massive solar flares threaten to destroy the grid, resulting in nuclear meltdown and fallout will be carried all over the Earth, destroying all life as we know it.
Civilization must succeed “or else,” but if current political trends going on right now continue and accelerate, I don’t think we’ve got long before it self-destructs as most Patriarchal civilizations tend to do. It is the inevitable decline all civilizations make, with Near Term Extinction being the only logical outcome to worldwide male domination, male violence, misogyny, and rampant resource extraction and consumption.
CONCLUSION – Considering the above talking points, how likely are you to continue to engage in politicking or activism in addition to the following:
- That most people are misogynists who are unwilling to change, and that they will benefit from your work while simultaneously distancing themselves from you and/or denying the validity of feminist work.
- That you will not be allowed to fully address your own oppression as a woman without being silenced and told to “shut the fuck up” because of privilege (real or imagined).
- That sexism will never be taken as seriously as other forms of oppression that affect men as a class.
- That after fifty years of feminist activism and proliferation of feminist materials, most people have no functional understanding of what feminism is (and/or have decided to re-create it to be the way they want it to be).
- That being a public feminist only increases the likelihood of being harassed, stalked, threatened, and exposed to violent misogyny from both men and women.
- That there is no safe place to avoid misogyny, not even in feminism when feminists themselves have not addressed their own internalized misogyny and thus participate in public displays of misogyny including but not limited to: trashing entire classes of women, shunning individual feminists for disagreeing with the prevailing narrative (a.k.a. “the nuts leave”), backstabbing and drama, and silencing/deplatforming certain feminists from social media or speaking engagements.
- That feminist bloggers devote countless (and thankless) hours to writing and moderating blogs only to be chewed up, spit out, and ultimately forgotten (even by other feminists).
- That many women have entered and exited feminism for reasons we don’t know, either because they couldn’t afford to participate in feminist politicking or because there wasn’t enough support/rewards for them to continue doing so.
- That civilization itself is inherently unstable, and that struggling to reform a society that’s ultimately doomed to fail is a waste of gynergy.
- That points 1-9 will be ignored, dismissed, or denied to exist by both feminists and non-feminists alike.
This is not to say that feminist blogging is necessarily a bad thing, or that women should stop speaking the truth. The fact that women continue to blog about feminism in spite of everything documented here is proof of how amazing women are.
However there are downsides to doing this and I think women should be aware of them. I can only speak to my own experience that being expected to liberate 3.5 billion women from 3.5 billion territorial men has exposed me to more misogyny than I ever wanted in a lifetime. I think that’s part of the reason why I am such a low functioning feminist today. I cannot deal with people any longer and nor can I expose myself to television, radio, or the Internet without getting physically ill.
Of course, there are plenty of feminists who cope much better than I do, and are well acclimated and in a better position to argue the finer points online. That’s part of the reason I think there might be something genetic about rejecting misogyny, but like a lot of weird ideas I’ve entertained on this blog, it likely doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve let all that go and have decided that it doesn’t really matter why people are the way they are. The only thing left to do is decide what I’m going to do with the time I have left. That, in and of itself, is quite liberating even if it is not liberating in the feminist definition.
(Please keep in mind this may or may not be my last post for a while. I’m considering doing a post about virtual reality but I don’t know for sure if I’m going to write it yet.)