this applies to everyone everywhere

I think trashing women is an addiction, in ever sense of the word, very likely including chemical.  Every time we succumb to the need for that fix that talking against or attacking another woman gives us, we replicate and reinforce patriarchy’s sadomasochistic pattern in our personal lives and in our movement.  Sadomasochism, the very essence of patriarchy, is a habit, a deep habit – an addiction.

[…]

There is no way to have a genuine or productive communication once we have slipped into the craving stage of the sadomasochistic addiction cycle amongst ourselves.

[…]

One sure way to at least disrupt this pattern is to refuse to give our co-addicts the fix.  If we haven’t been able to disrupt the cycle before the battering begins, when we feel ourselves begin to weaken under the assault, we can say, looking at our watches, “I have to leave now.”

[…]

The continuation of life on earth depends on women’s refusal of the sadomasochistic model, our refusal to act out the sadist role with women and the masochist role with men or women, and both with ourselves.

— Sonia Johnson, Going Out of Our Minds:  The Metaphysics of Liberation, pgs 56,59, 60

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